Saturday, August 31, 1996

At the funeral of monkeys


Razen Manandhar
"Ladies and gentleman, this tragedy comes as a terrible shock to me. I really feel bitter to stand at the funeral of our so called 38 brave citizens. Although this mishap occurred due to the negligence of Nepal Electricity Authority, I do share the responsibility as I am a staunch authority of human beings. I feel, I should have warned them earlier," The president of the Monkey Republic of Pashupati, an elderly monkey, rearranged the microphone made for that special ceremony. After a deep sigh, continued his speech, taking out his thick spectacles.

"I remember, they have worked hard to build this country's reputation, to keep the legends alive and to keep pace with a world rushing after modernity.

"They were all good monkeys and had a bright future. They are capable of doing something really remarkable for this country.

"Unlike their human counterparts, they are never lured by bribery, never try to twist our holy constitution for their benefit and never torture their counterparts. They have a great respect for their neighbors which other human beings lack. No one snatches others' property nor do they eye the government's property. The only difference between we monkeys and the insatiable men is that we never become greedy for what we really don't need.

"As our country is democratic one, many political parties exist here and those dead too believed in different political principles, but I've never seen them squabbling with each other like their human counterparts.

"Like all our citizens, these victims were also found of entertainment, as if they were born to enjoy. Some of them were hardworking sportsmen and devoted artists bent upon preserving our cultural heritage. they did wear jeans but preferred their mother tongue in FM programmes. they did belong to a different creed but never compared theirs as better one.

"They all were great scholars indeed. They never left their classrooms for narcotic puffs or for any political riot. I'm proud, they never turned themselves into puppets as students in Nepal do. They insisted o avoiding foreign textbooks and teachers. And you see, the children we have are simply geniuses.

"Well, all I want to say is that I smell a big conspiracy here. Most probably, these Fund people are planning a genocide. Perhaps, they want to eliminate us and import a different species of monkeys from Maharashtra.

"I'm grateful to those martyrs who sacrificed their lives against the power of encroachment of some suspicious human beings. May God resettle those departed souls in Heaven. Amen"